There was another event, very small but kinda romantic for me — why I was rather passive to leave straight away when it became clear they were up to rather lies and bullying*) than just doing calm and honest research.
First let me reiterate why I couldn't do it, objective reasons:
Once I had realized that the workplace wasn't of my type and it's useless to hope that they were capable of honest and fair conduct, I wrote to their Director Luis Serrano that I would quit on my own in the end of that year — later they've just haven't allowed that. They were craving for execution.
There was also the misempathy of a kind «they are mobbing you, I'll talk to Luis and will oppose to that» (yet another pathetic liar) or «this is illegal what they are doing — you'll go to the Court and you'll win» (ha-ha-ha) or «you have nothing to worry about, you have your Contract».
However my own belief was not based on those speechifying, I had my deep, though irrational, subjective reason to wait for what they'd do.
Last weekend of that September I visited Montserrat mountain, alone, just to think over my staying in the workplace and in Barcelona in general.
I was ascending up there by a narrow trail and a group of adults and kids was descending towards me.
I stepped aside to let them come by, they were coming down and up calling for each other, making a lively mess.
Suddenly I felt that someone caught my thumb — a little boy, of 3 or 4, seemed to get lost, he stood by my side having held my thumb.
He was quiet and sure, like just waiting for someone to recall him from the crowd.
It was a nice and funny situation, I felt like designated just standing there with a silly smile and trying to call for someone — I only needed to get which language and words to choose.
In a moment a woman came back up to our spot laughing and telling the boy to look up at me — he did and they've descended on the laugh together.
I was a stranger in the country just pondering whether I'd fancy to stay there — all my under skin sensations were whispering: «go!»
But then I felt like I got a message «stay».
*) There is an exact translation into Russian (быкование), but we don't know this term in application to intelligent/scientific environment… its common usage is for low profile, low cultured behavioral type, say, in gangs, among criminals or near-criminal social circles.
P.S. Whoever watches this blog through content-checking bots: I don't change anything in particular, I don't change details or sense or statement of events.
There are only two reasons why I can edit some text here:
- I'm pointed to or I find some inaccuracy in my English;
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